Letters to the Sky

The kid that wrote this is mine :)

Just a heads up this made me cry. If you know my son you know that he was writing stories from about 3 or 4 years old..this is what he wrote in his spare time in bed. No he is has never been traumatized and has more than his fair share of parents.

Letter to the Sky

Dear Mommy and Daddy,

 I wanna write this letter, to tell you to come back. Grandpa said you went to Heaven, but I don’t know where that’s at.

Are you working late again; or on the other street? Or are you really far away, like way across the sea.

You’ve been away a while, we miss you really bad, grandpa always cry’s a lot, it makes me kinda sad.

Auntie comes here sometimes, when I’m feeling blue. She said the sky is that color, and that’s where you are too.

Remember when you tucked me in? On all those cozy nights? You said I was the most beautiful girl, and shined brighter than the lights.

I think about you all the time, with my teddy bear stuffed all tight. I wish you’re here when I go to bed, to kiss me a goodnight.

I tried to call you one time, on grandpa’s old, big cell. But the answering machine talked to me, so it didn’t work to well.

The tires flat on my tricycle, daddy you need to fix it. After that we’ll go to lunch, and we can share a biscuit!

Mommy, please come back, I need you here today. My tummy hurts, I don’t feel good, I need you right away.

Today I heard him cry again, grandpa cried and cried and cried. That’s why I need you to come back when I send this letter to the sky.

Written and Created by Keegan Hall (12)

I am a walking condratiction

Walking Contradiction

I must really put on a good front for people. Maybe I should just show people exactly who I am… You know the Lazy, procrastinating, slob,… that way I am not asked to do another f-ing thing. I could say no but I guess I am afraid if I have nothing to do I really will do nothing (not that I’d mind) but my husband and children like food and clean cloths…so I’ve heard…over and over and over again! So I keep myself busy with responsibilities that people ask of me So I am forced to get dressed and move. The problem lies not only with the above but with the fact and When I say I am going to so something I stress and over think everything and want to do my best because the results will NOT make me look bad. Also coupled with the fact that I am so unorganized that my friends have to let me in on my own schedule once in a while. I am a walking contradiction. Whats worse is I know this and it would be awful if I was not needed..I strangely like to be needed.. until I am actually needed..WTF oh and I have few control issues but I am totally fine letting others be in charge only so I am not the one to screw up. See what I mean? I am done now. I have to stop procrastinating and clean my messy house and should probably get dressed because I am directing a district play this afternoon and have some business calls to make as well. o.0

I apparently have some Daddy issues...

OR this crazed anger I feel is my husbands fault. Mostly likely both.

Tonight is Ava's first Daddy Daughter Dance and Bryan was Late. Not like 5 minuets late but a whole half hour late because he could not listen to me. He never listens to me.

I am not organized, you all know this, but I am punctual. I usually never forget important things and I always am there for the kids for activities and field trip and so on. I am okay with being the only one who has to do all this. He never has to take responsibility for the kids stuff and even for this all he had to do was Fucking take time off work and be home, get ready and take her. Does not seem hard after I have been on a fucking field trip all day with her right? I reminded him all week to get out of work early granted not the EXACT time he need to be out but I thought if he has a question about it he would have asked. I Texted him even at 3pm today to make sure he got out at 4:30 but instead of listening to me he decided to just get out at 5:30 anyway because he thought it was at 7 not 6. WTF...He works 45min away!!!! The only damn time he has to do something for these kids for a school function and he is fucking late!! GAH!!

So when I called him at 5:30 wondering where the fuck he was, I then found out he was still 45min away...I cried...yep I fucking cried. I saw RED!!!!!

I am not sure if I was so upset because he could not just trust my judgment, listen to me and come home when I told him to or it really does steam for my own Dad never being there for me when he promised stuff. My dad was an alcoholic and my parents divorced by the time I was 9/10 but even before the divorce he was never really involved. He loved me and spent time with me when he was around but he was not home much so he could drink. By the time I was five My parents had already split up once only to get back together because they were expecting my brother Jason.

I really did not think I was holding that much resentment but when I realized that I was WAY more upset than my daughter was I figured I might have a problem LOL. Still am a little pissed off at my husband and he will NEVER do this to her again but I don't think it was all about them this time and I am willing to admit my past got the best of me today.

Thank for letting me vent :)