I apparently have some Daddy issues...

OR this crazed anger I feel is my husbands fault. Mostly likely both.

Tonight is Ava's first Daddy Daughter Dance and Bryan was Late. Not like 5 minuets late but a whole half hour late because he could not listen to me. He never listens to me.

I am not organized, you all know this, but I am punctual. I usually never forget important things and I always am there for the kids for activities and field trip and so on. I am okay with being the only one who has to do all this. He never has to take responsibility for the kids stuff and even for this all he had to do was Fucking take time off work and be home, get ready and take her. Does not seem hard after I have been on a fucking field trip all day with her right? I reminded him all week to get out of work early granted not the EXACT time he need to be out but I thought if he has a question about it he would have asked. I Texted him even at 3pm today to make sure he got out at 4:30 but instead of listening to me he decided to just get out at 5:30 anyway because he thought it was at 7 not 6. WTF...He works 45min away!!!! The only damn time he has to do something for these kids for a school function and he is fucking late!! GAH!!

So when I called him at 5:30 wondering where the fuck he was, I then found out he was still 45min away...I cried...yep I fucking cried. I saw RED!!!!!

I am not sure if I was so upset because he could not just trust my judgment, listen to me and come home when I told him to or it really does steam for my own Dad never being there for me when he promised stuff. My dad was an alcoholic and my parents divorced by the time I was 9/10 but even before the divorce he was never really involved. He loved me and spent time with me when he was around but he was not home much so he could drink. By the time I was five My parents had already split up once only to get back together because they were expecting my brother Jason.

I really did not think I was holding that much resentment but when I realized that I was WAY more upset than my daughter was I figured I might have a problem LOL. Still am a little pissed off at my husband and he will NEVER do this to her again but I don't think it was all about them this time and I am willing to admit my past got the best of me today.

Thank for letting me vent :)