I apparently have some Daddy issues...

OR this crazed anger I feel is my husbands fault. Mostly likely both.

Tonight is Ava's first Daddy Daughter Dance and Bryan was Late. Not like 5 minuets late but a whole half hour late because he could not listen to me. He never listens to me.

I am not organized, you all know this, but I am punctual. I usually never forget important things and I always am there for the kids for activities and field trip and so on. I am okay with being the only one who has to do all this. He never has to take responsibility for the kids stuff and even for this all he had to do was Fucking take time off work and be home, get ready and take her. Does not seem hard after I have been on a fucking field trip all day with her right? I reminded him all week to get out of work early granted not the EXACT time he need to be out but I thought if he has a question about it he would have asked. I Texted him even at 3pm today to make sure he got out at 4:30 but instead of listening to me he decided to just get out at 5:30 anyway because he thought it was at 7 not 6. WTF...He works 45min away!!!! The only damn time he has to do something for these kids for a school function and he is fucking late!! GAH!!

So when I called him at 5:30 wondering where the fuck he was, I then found out he was still 45min away...I cried...yep I fucking cried. I saw RED!!!!!

I am not sure if I was so upset because he could not just trust my judgment, listen to me and come home when I told him to or it really does steam for my own Dad never being there for me when he promised stuff. My dad was an alcoholic and my parents divorced by the time I was 9/10 but even before the divorce he was never really involved. He loved me and spent time with me when he was around but he was not home much so he could drink. By the time I was five My parents had already split up once only to get back together because they were expecting my brother Jason.

I really did not think I was holding that much resentment but when I realized that I was WAY more upset than my daughter was I figured I might have a problem LOL. Still am a little pissed off at my husband and he will NEVER do this to her again but I don't think it was all about them this time and I am willing to admit my past got the best of me today.

Thank for letting me vent :)

Things I've been meaning to do AND Deftones!!!

The first thing I have been meaning to do is write on this blog. The only time I think to write here is when my kids are unexpectedly home from school and I am trying to avoid them (their fighting and constant dumb questions) so I pretend I am busy and write a blog post. *rolls eyes* don't judge me!

Do you REALLY want a list of crap I have been meaning to do or should I use this monthly post to actually get shit accomplished.?..LMAO we'll see.

I will give you this weeks run down of things I have been meaning to do and probably should get to this week.
1. Make a garden...I have to borrow a rotor tiller from a friend which I will probably get today. I have to get these seedling into the ground before they die!!
2.Pay bills that we got behind on once we finally receive Tax money... LOL yes we waited till the last possible second to do our taxes...Don't ask me why, we don't owe but we are procrastinators :O)
3.Which reminds me I need to get to the bank, in the town we used to live in, which currently holds my children's bank accounts and let them know that I DO in fact still want the money in them and not to close the accounts due to inactivity.
4.Go though my kids school and art work. I have 3 piles sitting next to me...*sigh*
5. Redo my kitchen stool. I have the vinyl and that is sitting by above mentioned piles of school art work, but have NO motivation to do that this week So it probably won't happen.

Thats it for now because yes I do have more shit I have been meaning to do I just got in really late last night (early this morning) because hubby and I went to see Deftones at the State Theater (fine The Fillmore but it will always be the state to me) and it was an awesome night...wanna a peak!!!? Watch the video..Sorry I was dancing while shooting this!

Shit and I forgot to mention that I doing this monthy things I need to do thingy for this blog.. thought I should give some props :O) http://www.imalazymom.com/

Life forces me to be functional and Shit but I am as Lazy as they come ;)

Yup I said it. It is Thursday Afternoon and here I sit in my PJ's browsing the internet. My house is a mess, I could use a shower and the only thing I have accomplished today was getting some pictures done. If it was not for the fact that I can't seem to tell people no I don't think I'd ever leave my house.
I know some of you may ask 'Well you are ambitious enough to start a Photography business' or 'You are always at your kids school, so much so they offered you a job', And 'You have 3 kids and a Husband right there is a Job by itself'..Well you know what? I never sought out ANY of it!!! It all just happened (except Ava, but she was more of well if you can't beat em' join em' type situation)

I had my first (well second but thats another day) Child at age 19 So you know that was not planned (Pretty sure GOD knew what he was doing me there) Married a Week before my 21st Birthday...OK so no one forced me into that one I do LOVE my Hubby. My Second Child was conceived shortly after but he was SO not planned either. Yeah Yeah I know BC..blah blah ( don't regret them so shush) and So With Ava it was well I am already here doing this Kid thing and I want a girl So let do this and God gave me my little spitfire...

So as life would have it I am pretty good at this Mom thing. I like being with my kids., So much so I follow them to school and make friends with their teachers and their friends moms ( that how I have the awesome friend circle I have now). Because I have done all that I have been offered things like "Hey lets help you build a photography business and we will barter and help get your name out" me: "Uhhhh OK?!" or "hey since your at the school all the time anyway and we know you and like you, Do you want a Job?" Me: "Uhhhh OK?!" Or the Best yet "You are my friend So I volunteered US for ________ Won't it be fun Since we will be doing it together"  Me: "ooookay" :) (though for the record If I have to work the carnival at the school or some shit I do want it to be with my friends)

So No I really do not go out of my way to be as busy as I am and I don't feel like I am wasting my day by hangin' in my pajamas. I would have been stupid not to take any of those opportunities but the lazy procrastinator side of my that I am constantly battling or the world around me is battling, really hates that I get myself into all this shit.

spring break :/

I am currently watching my boys play Guitar Hero in their underwear...and my girl, well i think may have changed her clothes about 6 times in the hour and a half she has been awake. I have come to the conclusion that spring break is the governments way to create lazy, video game playing, never moving out of moms bacement, usless droid males of america and little diva, princess, snobby, selfish, thinks world owes her something bitches oof america. I mean come on if you dont have the luxury to go on vacation (which would be us) then you are sitting home trying to come up with something to enertain your spawn till Monday. To top it all off, I live in Michigan and spring is really late here. Now to make sure i dont end up raising the above mentioned adults I will be enforcing lots of chores and bribing them with cloths and video games beacuse what is worse than these said adults...yes that is right moms who hurt their children and i will not be one of thoes moms ;)